Talking money is like playing zone defense—you need a strategy, good timing, and some gut instincts. When it comes to discussing finances with your partner and your families, it can feel like navigating through a full-court press. But with the right approach, these conversations don’t have to be awkward. With a game plan, a sense of timing, and a little trust in your instincts, you can smoothly navigate these tricky discussions.

 

In the unpredictable game of life, few plays are as crucial as those involving our parents’ future and our own financial game plan. At our firm, we’ve found that a solid 25% of our clients are gearing up to be key players in financially supporting their parents as they navigate the later stages of life. This isn’t just about money; it’s about stepping up as a team captain for your family. And if you’re in a serious relationship (yes, living together counts), you’re not just dating your partner—you signed up to play for their team too. So, it’s not just about having your game plan; it’s about syncing up with your partner’s family financial playbook.

The financial burden of supporting aging parents is no light scrimmage, with our clients facing an average of around $10,000 per year for a decade or more. This emphasizes the importance of starting these conversations early and approaching them with skill, finesse, and empathy. To help you navigate these tough conversations, we’ve put together a playbook to make them as smooth as executing a perfect alley-oop.

TIMING IS EVERYTHING

Picking the right moment for these discussions, like during the holidays, can be strategic due to the closeness and likelihood of face-to-face interactions. However, if holidays tend to be a full-court press of emotions, it might be wise to call a timeout and wait for a better opening. You know your parents’ game better than anyone, so trust your instincts. If holidays aren’t the right time, respectfully ask about a better venue. If they still don’t seem ready, maybe suggest bringing in a trusted family friend or teammate to help.

STARTING THE CONVERSATION

Starting these financial conversations can feel like stepping up to the free-throw line in a tied game. We recommend easing into it by mentioning your financial advisor, even if that advisor is just a more financially savvy friend. For instance, you could say, “I was chatting with my financial advisor, and it got me thinking about how you and Dad/Mom/Name have things set up.” Starting with open-ended questions can help you gauge their defense and might even lead to some clutch advice or insights.

KEY QUESTIONS TO COVER

Some key questions to consider asking include:

  • Do you have a will? Should I keep a copy?
  • Have you thought about your preferences for life-sustaining measures and documented them in a living will?
  • Are the beneficiaries on your accounts up to date?
  • Do you have enough life insurance coverage?
  • What are your thoughts on where you’d like to be if you need care?

 

These are heavy questions, but avoiding them leaves you in a tight spot when the buzzer sounds. Start slow, respect their defense, and be ready for an emotional rebound.

PREPARATION IS KEY

Before diving into these discussions, treat them like pre-game prep. Set a supportive environment, free from distractions, and decide whether to involve your partner or significant other based on your game plan. These topics are complex and can trigger strong emotions, so approach them with empathy and understanding.

Taking notes during or after the conversation can also be helpful. While some parents might find it a flagrant foul, having a record of the discussion can be a slam dunk when it’s time to act.

CONSIDER OTHER TEAM DYNAMICS

Factor in your family’s unique dynamics when approaching these discussions. If you have siblings, ensure they’re on the same page before going for the three-pointer. If you’re an only child with aging parents, the ball is in your court, so involve your partner or significant other early on. If you’re estranged from your parents but your partner is close with their family, you may need to adjust your game plan. Remarriages, pets, and disagreements over caregiving roles are all factors that can complicate these discussions, so be ready to call an audible.

SWEDISH DEATH CLEANING: A BONUS STRATEGY

Beyond financial considerations, there’s also the matter of personal possessions. Swedish Death Cleaning, a trend that’s gaining traction, involves decluttering your belongings as you age to make things easier for your loved ones after you’re gone. While it may sound like a tough defensive strategy, it’s a practical approach to managing your possessions and their sentimental and monetary value.

CONCLUSION

Navigating the financial aspects of aging parents can be a high-stakes game. By approaching these conversations with empathy, understanding, and careful planning, you can ensure that you, your parents, and your extended family are prepared for whatever the game throws your way. Remember, these discussions are not just about money; they’re about ensuring your loved ones are cared for and your family’s future is secure. So, lace up your sneakers, grab your playbook, and get ready to take these conversations to the championship level.

 
 

ARC Wealth offers tailored financial solutions designed to empower young professionals with high incomes in building and overseeing their wealth.

Whether you’re dreaming of a getaway to Spain or eyeing a brand-new Tesla, we’re here to guide you in realizing both your immediate and future financial goals